Since my friends and I are getting all mushy about how much we lurrrve eachother today, we're all writing blogs on our friendships. I'm going to be posting this on Tumblr too, for the mates that have it.
I've gone through more fake mates, than anyone I know - from people lying about me, spreading rumours, bitching about me or just putting me down constantly. Lately I've really come to learn who my true friends are, don't get me wrong - I will probably still go through a couple more fake chums in the future, but I'm much more wary now about who to trust.
I really like the circle of friends I have now, not all my friends are in the same group but when I hang out with each of these groups, I'm so happy. It doesn't matter where we are, I just love having friends around me.
2010 has been a big wake-up call for me, I don't know how it happened but I just turned over a new leaf one day. As recently as 2 days, an old ''friend'' told me why she didn't wish me a happy birthday, which I was upset about, and her response was that she didn't care enough to wish me happy birthday. That equalled a smack in the face to me, but looking back, that 'friend' was constantly putting me down and making me feel like shit. So why did I continue being friends with her? I don't even know the answer, but I know now that if I have someone like that in my life, always putting me down, I get rid of them as a friend.
I used to have a best friend, someone I used to be practically joined at the hip with and share all my secrets to, but that person changed - for the worst, we grew apart and they said they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. We had been friends for years and it felt like my best friend had died. To this day I haven't been as close to someone, as I was with her. I know we will never be friends again but looking back at the good memories we had together is nice, it almost seems like none of it ever happened.
Of course I have tons of 'best friends', close friends, but I don't think I'll ever have someone like my number one again. My trust for people is harder to gain nowadays because of it, I've become paranoid and I question most things. I'm trying to change this, but I can't change the past - and how it's affected me.
I want to spend my last year in Ireland with all the people I love most, and they know who they are. I always tell my friends I love them, but I want them to know I mean it. I've had tons of arguements with some of them but it has either been a wake up call for me or has made our friendship stronger.
I love you guys, and I want to cherish the memories we make forever and ever.
Love Leanne, xo.
