Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
by Lisa See
rated: 4 out of 5
'I am old enough to know only too well my good and bad qualities, which were often one and the same. For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me-as a girl and later as a woman-to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life. I dreamed that my mother would notice me and that she and the rest of my family would grow to love me.'
Set in nineteenth-century China, Lily, retells her life story. The book begins when Lily is just 5 years old and is living in poverty and in seclusion in her town called Hunan. Her mother is emotionally distant, showing no affection for her at this young age. Her mother is crippled due to the poor job her own mother did with her footbinding. Lily has four siblings, she also lives with her mother, father, grandmother, aunt, uncle & a cousin named Beautiful Moon. The womens place is in the home, and they are seldom outside of it. They spend most of their time inside an upstairs chamber, even in the sweltering heat.
By age 7 Lily, her younger sister & Beautiful Moon begin their tortuous and long foot binding process. The are all scared of what lies before them, but have no choice.
'I often think back on those first few months of our footbinding. I remember how Mama, Aunt, Grandmother and even Elder Sister recited certain phrases to encourage us.....
Foot size would determine how marriageable I was. My small feet would be offered as proof to my prospective in-laws of my personal discipline and my ability to endure the pain of childbirth, as well as whatever misfortunes might lie ahead.'
Lily's aunt teaches her the secret code called 'nu shu', which means 'womens writing'. Some of the girls were paired with 'laotongs', which means 'old sames,' in matches that lasted throughout their entire lives. When Lily is 7, she is paired with a laotong, a girl named Snow Flower. Snow Flower sends Lily a silk fan with nu shu writing on it.
The two girls form a bond right away. Snowflower comes from a wealthier family than Lily who is poor.
The girls end up having arranged marriages and prepare themselves to be good wives to thier husbands and good daughter-in-laws to thier husbands parents. They have to spend alot of time making shoes & quilts for thier in-laws, hoping that they will be accepted into their new families.
Lily and Snowflower are wed by age 17 and eventually both women have several children.
'We are thier caretakers. We love them. We nurse them when they are sick. In the case of sons, we prepare them to take thier first steps into the mens realm. In the case of daughters, we bind thier feet, teach them our secret writing, and train them to be good wives, daughters-in-laws, and mothers, so they will fit into the upsairs chambers of their new homes.'
I enjoyed this book from the start. It was hard to put down and so sad as well. The way the foot binding is described made me cringe, I had no idea that is how they bound little girls feet. Actually breaking the bones and reshaping the foot.
This is a sad read, you feel bad for these women and the hardships they suffer. From a young age they are preparing for their future weddings, for motherhood and for the time when they will be widows. It's all planned for, expected and pushed upon them. They even have to visit a temple each year and bring offerings in hopes that they will bear a son first once they are wed.
They have no choice whom they marry, and their husbands can do whatever they want to them, including beating them. They are looked down upon as women and thier status in the home and village depends upon how many children they bear and how many sons they have. Snowflower and Lily continue writing their 'nu shu' on a fan they both share.
'I realized the true purpose of our secret writing. It was not to compose girlish notes to each other or even to introduce us to the women in our husbands' families. It was to give us a voice. Our nu shu was a means for our bound feet to carry us to each other, for our thoughts to fly across the fields as Snow Flower had written.'
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