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Monday, October 18, 2010
title: Perfection
author: Julie Metz
pages: 344
first line: It happened like this: Henry's footsteps on the old wooden floorboards.
published: 2009
rated: 4 out of 5
Julie thought she had the perfect life. She was married to the love of her life, Henry and had a beautiful 6 year old daughter, Liza. She had a nice job as a freelance graphic designer and was able to work from home.
Henry was spontaneous and extravagant. He enjoyed cooking gourmet meals, parties, and was a social butterfly. He traveled alot, at times being away from home for weeks at a time. He was in the process of writing a book on cuisine and would travel around the world for research.
Henry hadn't been feeling well for months, but chalked it up to too much workload. One day however, while Julie was working at her computer, she heard Henry enter the house, then soon after she heard a loud thump. She found Henry dying on their kitchen floor. He died soon after of cardiac arrest.
Seven months after Henry's death Julie finds out that Henry was having multiple affairs, five to be exact. Julie's friends found out about his infidelities right after Henry died and chose not to tell her until later. A mutual friend hands over Henry's emails and journal to Julie and reveals what he knows.
Julie reads Henry's explicit journal and email correspondence with his lovers. Most of it describes his sex life, with one of Julie's close friends in particular.
Reading that hurt me in ways I could never have imagined, every word a spike in my chest. I had lost him long before he died. I had lost a love that had once been central to my life.
Eventually Julie confronts all of Henry's mistresses. They all admit to having a relationship with Henry. Surprisingly all the women were petite brunettes, like Julie, and she even found herself liking a couple of them after ongoing conversations with them. Julie even finds out details about her husband through these women that she herself never knew.
As Julie tells her story, you get to see that there were many red flags in her marriage. Henry wouldn't wear a wedding ring and he was often at her one girlfriend's home. One day Julie even saw that the bedsheets on the twin bed in his office were crumpled and stained. Henry had a quick temper and tended to be very grandiose with every thing he did. He liked throwing expensive dinner parties, he flirted alot, and he indulged in whatever he wanted. Julie couldn't stop him from his expensive purchases. In the end he left Julie over $40 thousand dollars in credit card debt.
I think the biggest sign of all was that when Julie met Henry he already had a girlfriend, yet was chasing Julie anyway. He also cheated on her before they were married. If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is.
Though truly, the more I thought about it, the clues had been everywhere and I had chose to ignore them.
I first heard of Julie Metz's story on the Oprah show. I remember being both shocked and intrigued by her story.
Reading her memoir, I was definitely stunned. Especially when reading Henry's emails and journals. I didn't agree with some of the choices Julie made, like taking a lover so soon after Henry's death. However I do admire her candidness in telling her story. I can't even fathom what she went through finding out her husband was unfaithful after becoming a widow and single mother. And one of his mistresses was supposed to be a good friend of hers.
Julie's memoir is brave, emotional, disturbing and intriguing all at once. I was hooked from page one and hoped Julie would find some kind of closure and happiness in the end. I think she is brave to share her story. Despite devastating betrayal she was able to persevere and move on with her life.
I had been afraid to look at the truth, because there was so much at stake. I had been afraid of being alone. Now I was alone. I had accepted intolerable behavior because of the fear that I couldn't live without him. But here I was, living without him.
About Julie Metz
Julie Metz is a graphic designer, artist and freelance writer whose essays have appeared in publications including The New York Times, The Huffington Post, Hemispheres, Glamour, and more. Julie received a MacDowell Fellowship in 2008 where she completed work on Perfection and began work on a novel. She lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
visit her website here: http://www.perfectionbook.com/
special thanks to BookSparks
