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- I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
- How come we choose from just two people to run forpresident and over fifty for Miss America?
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
- When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
- Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
- Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
- Wouldn't you know it....Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
- Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
- Bumper sticker of the year: 'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
- And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. Ya just might want to pass this along.... MAY GOD BLESS YOU TODAY AND ALWAYS
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