King Arthur Movie Tristan

One likes to believe in the freedom of music.

Rush - Spirit of Radio.

Christmas always brings with it novelty songs. Whether it's Irish Rovers singing about Grandmas and Reindeer, or Bruce Springsteen warning of Santa Claus's imminent arrival. Corey Harts Rudolph phase or anybody and everybody going for a Sleigh Ride, Christmas is littered with music that would never get made otherwise. It is one of the things I love about Christmas.

This year is like any other with a plethora of new Christmas music, whether your taste runs to Melissa Etheridge, Faith Hill or Cheryl Crow there's a Christmas CD for you. Sadly, this year seems to lack the heavy metal title to make it interesting, unlike 2006's Twisted Sister entry into the canon.

This years more interesting Christmas music are of the single song variety. There are two, specifically, that have caught my attention this year. Two songs that sit at the opposite end of the musical spectrum, as different as the Pogues and Bing Crosby (although the Pogues probably did a song with Bing Crosby at some point; everyone else certainly seems to have done). In fact, my two favourites from 2008 are being compared to The Pogues/Kirsty Mccall and Bing Crosby.

The first I heard about on a gossip mailer I get called Popbitch. They referred to the new Cyndi Lauper and The Hives song, A Christmas Duel, thus:

This week we are listening to Xmas songs:

1. The Hives v Cyndi Lauper:
The new Kirsty MacColl/Pogues?

For those unfamiliar, The Pogues song being referred to it is Fairytale of New York, a wonderful song that blends wonderfully the romance of Christmas, New York City and those old Bing Crosby movies with punk sensibilities, a verse full of insults and an opening stanza that occurs in a drunk tank. A deft bit of writing and a magical performance have made it a Christmas favourite among the under 50 set.

The Hives v Cyndi Lauper on the other hand, is just a song of two people fighting. A load of insults, some sexual innuendo, an unapologetic drunk and a death threat finished off with a promise to "spend-spend-spend this Christmas together." A different take on Christmas it certainly is; the best thing Cyndi Lauper has done since, well ever, very possibly (What is it with the Brits anyway? If you were a Minor celebrity once, 20 years ago, you're a celebrity forever?); The new Kirsty MacColl/Pogues? Not a chance.

All that said, it's listenable, it's fun and it has one of the all time great lines in song:

So whatever you say, it’s all fine by me
Who the f@#k anyway wants a Christmas tree.

So I'll take it, I'll listen to it with a sly smile, and I'll turn it off when my mother-in-law walks in the room. But it's no Fairytale of New York.



The second song comes from a different world altogether. Canada's Conservative savant, Mark Steyn has teamed up with comedienne Jessica Martin in a duet of A Marshmallow World. The 1949 song originally popularized by Bing Crosby has induced MacLean's magazine to call Steyn, "the new Bing Crosby." It's a fun song, a catchy ditty and Steyn is an alright singer, for a writer. In truth, it's enjoyable because of the spirit of the thing more so than the singing talents of Mark Steyn (Jessica Martin on the other hand is not a bad singer).

I offer fair warning, however. This song has infested my brain and it won't shut up. If you want to go around between now and Dec 25th with Mark Steyn warbling "It's a marshmallow wooooorld," incessantly playing in your head, by all means blow $0.99 on the MP3. Although it has been noted I seem in an awfully good mood the past few days: don't say you weren't warned.